I sometimes fear that I will never be truly happy

And I'm horribly honest about this. I often feel like I will NEVER be content. Sometimes I purchase things thinking that they will better my life in some way, or bring some joy to me, and sure they may- for a short period of time. Then those items just become burdens to me, in most cases, especially when it goes on neglected and I keep thinking in the back of my mind "why did I waste money on that when I don't even use it, and could have saved that money for something else?" 

I have a really tough decision when I'm buying things, because I wonder whether or not I will be satisfied with the purchase. Like today. My checking account had about 1250, but now has... ohh, 1000ish? Yup. It took me HOURS to finally hit the 'Submit Purchase' button. No joke. And it's because of the previously mentioned reasons. I am now expecting several things in the mail. Will it all be worth it? I sure as hell hope so. 

So the main reason why I think I will never be happy is because of ALL THESE THINGS- these things in life that just hang around and take up space. I should like to rid of a lot of it- I plan to do so when I repaint my room. Hopefully I am able to let go of useless shit! Somehow, I am doubtful about that, sadly./: BUT NO! I will try my best! And why? (I am mostly aiming this question towards myself) Because THAT'S WHAT I IMMENSELY WANT.(:

The times that I AM truly, sincerely happy is when I'm with friends! On adventures! Doing stupid shit!(: There is absolutely nothing that I can think of that is better. They are the good times- best times, of my life.(: 

And that's another truth, confession of mine.

Au revoir, les amis!

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